


take my heart and take my hand again and again

by calthighway



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Five Times, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Soft Ben, hand holding, maybe mentions of Christmas... sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 19:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20953730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calthighway/pseuds/calthighway
Summary: They sit with legs draped over each other’s. They share smiles throughout, and then somewhere during their third film, Ben’s hand finds its way into Callum’s. Their fingers entwine and Callum’s thumb moves in soothing circles on the back of his hand.or five times ben and callum hold hands





	take my heart and take my hand again and again

**1**

They were officially on their first date. Their failed one doesn’t count, because it’s something both of them would rather forget about, and they’re happy with that.

Now it’s just the two of them in E20. Callum’s gone and bought a whole new outfit this time, even bought new hair gel and aftershave. The nerves are steady until Ben’s sat next to him, smiling like he’s the cat that got the cream.

“Someone’s been shopping,” Ben remarks, eyes taking in Callum carefully, eyes slow over his face and Callum knows he’s blushing.

He laughs nervously. “Nah, ya ain’t that special,” but it’s a big, fat lie and the pink of his cheeks confirms it.

Ben just smiles sweetly, chin upwards. He lifts his hand to the back of Callum’s jacket, pulling off the tag before holding it in between his fingers and tapping it against Callum’s thigh. “Lying to your date,” Ben pouts. “I’m hurt.”

“No.” Callum swallows, shaking his head. “Yeah, I wanted to look good for you and-“

“Callum,” Ben leans closer, his hand resting on Callum’s thigh. “I’m joking,” he gives Callum’s thigh a reassuring squeeze.

Callum head falls, his eyes focused on the hand causing heat to flow through his body. “I just want tonight to go alright.”

“And it will,” Ben lowers his head so Callum can see his face. “It _is.”_

Callum lets himself relax back into the booth, moves his hand on top of Ben’s and curls his fingers around his.

Ben’s silent for a moment, takes in the feel of Callum’s hand covering his and when he looks up, there’s not much else he can do other than move in slowly and kiss Callum.

A smile forms when they part, Callum’s fingers strong and sure around his own.

**2**

It’s another date night. This time they stay in, it’s the middle of winter now and it’s too cold to do anything else other than to stay in doors snuggled up with blankets and films.

Ben cooks for them, smiles the whole way through their meal together. Callum making appreciative noises with every mouthful and going all shy when he gets it down himself and Ben jokes about how it’s surprising he can miss such a big mouth.

They have dessert, sticky toffee pudding and custard and this time Callum seems to be more cautious of the eyes on him. Ben licks at his spoon, holds it in his mouth playfully, eyebrows raising at the confused look on Callum’s face.

“What?” Callum licks his lips. “Have I got it down me again?” He begins to pull at his jumper and feel at his chin, but he’s stopped when he sees Ben’s shaking his head.

Callum almost jumps out of his skin when he feels Ben’s foot kick at his ankle, then glide up the inside of his calf.

“What ya doing?” Callum mumbles, all flustered.

“Ya look cute tonight,” Ben states matter of fact. He takes a spoonful of his dessert, “good enough to eat,” he teases before putting the food into his mouth.

Callum begins to laugh, teeth nipping at his bottom lip when Ben’s foot goes higher. “Ya put something in that custard?”

“Just happy to see ya,” Ben shrugs.

“You’re horny more like,” Callum scoffs, lips raised in a warming way.

“It’s been two weeks since I last saw ya!” Ben complains, makes it sound like it’s the worst thing in the world. “Then ya rock up looking the way you do. It ain’t fair.”

“I’m in a Christmas jumper, Ben. I’m hardly modelling Armani.”

Ben looks at the knitwear, sure the elf’s on it are laughing at him along with his date, but he’s a man and he’s got needs and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Callum’s hand goes under the table to tap Ben’s foot before getting to his feet. “Come on, lets watch some films.” Ben looks annoyed, clearly not the response he was hoping for. “And _then_, we can go upstairs.” Callum looks brazen, but he’s anything but. Bold of him to assume that Ben would even want him to stay.

The doubt it short lived, though. Ben grins up at him and nods. “Alright, alright. Deal. I get pick of first film.”

They sit with legs draped over each other’s. They share smiles throughout, and then somewhere during their third film, Ben’s hand finds its way into Callum’s. Their fingers entwine and Callum’s thumb moves in soothing circles on the back of his hand.

Yeah, the thought of taking things upstairs excites them, but being here like this is also enough to get their hearts pumping faster.

**3**

It’s the new year, new beginning and all that stuff, new year resolutions being made and then broke before it’s even double figures into the month.

One things for definite, a definite new start; Callum spending Christmas with Ben and Lexi and somehow spending every day with him over the festive period.

Callum’s also gone and got himself a small drawer for his own stuff in Ben’s room, and his toothbrush and hair gel sit amongst everything else in the bathroom, either nobody notices or they just don’t care. What more is one person under their roof anyway?

The birds are loud and awakening and Ben groans, flopping his head back down into his cushion. He’s going to blame the chirping for the ache in his head and _not _the alcohol from last night.

He rubs his face tiredly and reaches for his glasses, shovelling closer to Callum when the chill of the morning hits him.

Callum stirs beside him, his eyes opening slightly before bringing Ben closer. “Morning,” Callum mumbles in his hair.

“Not so loud,” Ben complains, huffing dramatically. “Never drinking again.”

Callum just smirks, “heard that at least twice in the space of a week.”

“Mean it this time,” Ben’s leg lifts to cover Callum’s. “Think someone might have tried killing me off.”

“We’d be here all day trying to guess who,” Callum jokes, grabbing at Ben’s wrist before he gets a slap to his ribs. “I did tell ya to calm down, but you didn’t listen,” Callum’s fingers run delicately through Ben’s hair. “Said you were ‘living the life baby!’”

“I was,” Ben whispers. “I had my family around me. You were there.”

“Soft,” Callum’s lips brush against Ben’s forehead, presses little kisses along it.

“Suppose ya don’t remember calling me your _boyfriend _then, do ya?” Ben raises his eyebrows. “Now _that’s _soft.”

Callum smiles shyly, he does remember, but it was a flippant comment, a joke. Only, it felt serious once he’d said it, but he thought it would ruin things so decided to laugh it off and hoped that would have been the last of it.

“Shut up,” Callum pokes at his back.

Ben’s fingers caress over Callum’s hands. “So ya don’t want me to be your boyfriend then?” He feels Callum’s eyes on the top of his head and he closes his eyes, waits for his answer.

“I don’t know- I mean yeah,” he blurts awkwardly. “But I ain’t ever had a boyfriend before.”

Ben chuckles, the pain in his head subsiding dramatically. “Just carry on what you’ve been doing Callum, and I’ll give ya 10 out of 10 on the boyfriend score sheet.”

Ben pulls Callum’s hand to his lips, kisses his knuckles and loves the way Callum’s hand shelters his own effortlessly. They hold hands for ages and doze back off until Lexi’s knocking on their door complaining she needs feeding.

This year just might be one they can luck forward to.

**4**

Callum isn’t as stupid as he looks. He knows he’s an idiot, clumsy, slow on the uptake sometimes, but when it comes to Ben Mitchell he’s aware and he just _knows_.

He picks up on the fact somethings not right when Ben starts to ignore his phone calls, or he can’t seem to find him anywhere around the square. Then he starts to come home later. He becomes distant and Callum starts to overthink everything;

_He’s met someone else._

_He’s bored of me already. _

_I knew I wasn’t good enough. _

But things come to a stand still one evening when Callum’s phone rings, and there’s a nurse on the other side telling him that Ben’s in hospital.

He’s never moved so fast in his life. Fear consumes him as he makes his way to the hospital. 

Ben’s alive. He’s breathing and he’s _alive_. Callum catches his breath, stands at the foot of the bed and tries to compose himself, because right now, all he wants to do is scream and ask _why? Why would you ruin everything?_

Ben looks up at him, guilt clear on his face and Callum knows he’s about to say sorry.

“Don’t wanna hear it,” Callum stops him quickly. He swallows, hates the thickness in his throat. “So this is what’s been going on, yeah? You’ve been trying to act the hard man and now you’re hurt. _Again_.” Callum breathes steadily. “You must be on your last life.”

“Nah, I’m invincible,” Ben tries to smile, but Callum shoots him a look.

“This ain’t funny,” Callum points down at him. “Stop thinking your life’s a joke, Ben.” He begins to pace, hands on his hips. “Don’t ya realise what you’ve got? Don’t ya realise how many people need ya?” Callum’s face turns in a scowl, blood pumping and his features turn into a dark red and it’s not the type of flushed cheeks Ben adores. “You’re so fucking selfish.”

Ben looks away, Callum’s words hit deeper than any punch to his ribs. “Told ya I’d mess you up,” Ben sighs. “You just didn’t want to believe it.”

“Shut up feeling sorry for yourself, will you?” Callum comes to sit next to him. “I’m not _messed_ up. I’m not anything but angry and annoyed at ya right now,” Callum huffs. “You ain’t gotta do all this to prove yourself. I know you better than this.”

Ben nods, tears risking to fall down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” and he is. He means it so much.

Callum doesn’t say ‘it’s fine’ or ‘I forgive you’ because it isn’t, and he doesn’t, not yet anyway.

“At least you ain’t cheating on me,” Callum looks down at his hands on his laps, feels wrong to have even let those thoughts cross his mind. 

Ben’s head snaps up at him. “What? _No. _Never,”

Ben sounds so desperately sure. “I- I love you, Callum.” Ben says a bit quieter, but just as sure. “I would – _could _never.”

Callum’s world seems to stop spinning the moment those three words left Ben’s mouth. Maybe Ben hasn’t even realised he’s said them, because they’ve never said it before and Callum was sure that Ben would never love someone like him.

Callum looks at him dumbly. “Do ya realise what you just said?”

Ben smiles as best he can without causing himself discomfort, and reaches for Callum’s hand. He holds it tightly, places his other hand on top and nods. “I realise,” squeezes Callum’s hand a little. “I love you.”

And maybe Callum forgives and forgets too easily, but he’s repeating the words and leaning in to cup Ben’s face and kisses him, shrugging when Ben winces in pain, because he deserves that for putting him through hell the last few weeks.

But god, does he love him. 

**5**

“Callum Mitchell,” Ben’s voice sounds like honey, sickly sweet and he’s so bloody loved up right now that everyone around him don’t bother him. He doesn’t care that the likes of Tubbs see this version of him, this version that he keeps hid away and only Callum and Lexi get to usually see.

He wants everyone to know Callum’s his. He wants them all to see his _husband _and think that maybe, just maybe, Ben does deserve him and this.

“Will ya dance with me?” He asks, offering his hand out and even after all this time, Callum still looks away shyly, but his face lights up the whole room.

Of course Callum dances with him. His arms wrap around Ben’s waist loosely, his face tucked away safely in Ben’s neck and they sway until they feel dead on their feet.

“We actually did it,”Callum smiles into Ben’s ear. “We must be mad.”

Ben pouts, “speak for ya self! You’re the luckiest guy in the world and you know it.”

Callum just shakes his head, doesn’t care to say something back because it feels a lot like the truth.

“You can’t even deny it, can ya?” Ben smirks up at him, incredibly close.

“Right. Where’s those divorce papers?” Callum laughs, “you’re so annoying.”

Ben looks unapologetic, his hands coming up to cup the back of Callum’s head, his thumbs hitting that place that makes Callum almost shiver. “What ya gonna do about it?”

“We ain’t doing it tonight,” Callum warns playfully, eyebrows raised.

Ben laughs into him, “how romantic.”

Callum feigns upset, cant help the grin from appearing on his face. He looks down at the wedding ring on Ben’s finger and lifts his hand into his, both his hands cupping it. He holds it close to his chest before moving his hands to kiss Ben’s ring.

Neither let go when Ben leans up to kiss his husbands lips. They can hear a cheer from the distance, and Callum breaks away for a second, laughs against Ben’s lips before moving in again.

This was their happy ending, hand in hand for the rest of their lives.


End file.
